Am I Gay? It takes some people years to answer that question, where with others it takes less time. Everyone finds out they are gay in their own way and at different times. Questioning your sexuality doesn’t mean that you are confused or that it’s just a phase. Dating the opposite sex and then defining yourself as gay doesn’t mean that you’re confused or that it’s just a phase. If you are straight and define yourself as anything other than that it doesn’t mean that you’re confused or that it’s just a phase either. Everyone’s situation is different and, therefore, everyone’s process of coming out will be different. If you are questioning if you’re gay or not, don’t rush it, take your time to explore your feelings. Come out when you truly figure out who you are and when you are ready to make it known.